CNY Celebration 2010

CNY celebration went well this year and despite the snow storm there was a really good turnout. This years family photo does NOT however look so good because Maddy decided that smiling was not required. She did not even want to participate. I'll have to scan that one in and post later to show you what I mean. The pictures I have are few because I only took my small purse camera. I was not sure how I would be feeling and didn't want the extra burden of lugging the bigger camera. So, pictures are basic to say the least. And, for this post, they are backwards since that is how blogger decided to put them in.


This is one of the young ladies who participates in the Dayton chinese school/dance program in one of her traditional dance costumes. We always enjoy watching the girls do the chinese dances.


This is the local group of little girls who get together at our house in the summer for swimming. The little girl standing next to Maddy is sisters with the young lady in the bright blue. The two girls in the middle are sisters as well. They actually live just 2 miles down the road from us. Maddy has started taking violin lessons from their grandmother.


This is my friend Tracy. She lives probably 30 minutes from me and I don't get to see her often since returning back to work full-time. Her little gal there in the middle is the same age as Maddy. Yitong was their exchange student from a couple years ago who now goes to college here in Ohio and remains a BIG part of their family. Below is Tracy's daughter Valerie. Maddy loves her! She just spent a month in China with Yitong and her family between Thanksgiving and Christmas break. What an experience for her! I know it was hard for mom but wow.. what memories she will have forever. Marty and I have tossed about the idea of hosting an exchange student from China in the near future to help bring some Chinese culture to our home for Maddy. We've hosted an exchange student before so it's not new to us.



Maddy absolutely LOVES her daddy. Can you tell? The two of them are like peas in a pod when they are together.


She loves Mommy too though. If you notice, this mommy is working on a new hair style. Some friends of mine told me I could do the "no-bangs" thing so I thought I might give it a try. I've never not had bangs so this is very new to me.



Here is our sweet girl ready to leave for Chinese New Year in her formal silk. It's the last one we have as we didn't buy sizes any larger. I've been told though that the children in China don't actually wear this kind of clothing for CNY. They usually wear a vest like my friend Tracy's little girl has on in the picture above with blue jeans. I might just work on getting Maddy something like that for next year.

Update

First.. Thank you so much to all of you who have prayed, sent me notes etc. I cannot even begin to tell you how much those have meant to me.

I saw the cardiologist on Monday and he said I did not have to have a heart cath. (at least not at this time) Instead, he had me get an ultrasound of my heart and I had to wear a holter (EKG) monitor for 48 hours. I know I have other heart issues, mainly a very high heart rate at times and it appears that maybe this is coming back which is what the cardiologist seemed more concerned about at the present time. I won't get the results of either of these tests until Feb 15th.

Until the 15th, I'm trying to take each day, one at a time and work on my de-stressing. I'm still having some major anxiety. Unfortunately, once that gets started, it's hard to just turn it off. I've been doing a lot of praying and trying to give it all to God. (anxiety, possible tests, medications etc) But, my human nature tries to take over and says that I can pull it together myself. It's hard to be faithful and fearful all at the same time. :0(

On a lighter note...
This weekend is our area Chinese New Year Celebration so I'm hoping to post some photos of Maddy. She is growing like a weed. She started Violin lessons this week and I hope she will like them. She is a very shy thing. She knows the teacher but she is still shy around her. I feel bad that I don't have any formal Chinese attire for her to wear this year but she does have a beautiful red dress. Next year, I'll need to get on the ball and get her something more formal to wear.


Once again.. thank you friends for your words of encouragement and prayers. I'm so blessed to have each and every one of you in my life whether I've "formally" met you or not.

Do I Believe...

Just an update. I had my appointment and everything I'd been fearing was said to me at that doctors appointment. My stress test was abnormal. It says I'm not getting enough oxygen/blood supply to the bottom part of my heart. What does this mean... more testing. A heart catheterization to be exact. It's scary thinking about them guiding a wire up into your heart through an artery from your leg/groin but of course, the scariest part for me is the dye they will inject directly into the heart to see all the arteries - - while I am awake. What's even scarier for me is that I'm allergic to shellfish, CT scan dye etc and the dye they use is an iodine based dye. So, there is potential for allergic reaction (and symptoms) It's easy for my doctor to say, 'they'll pre-treat you" "maybe they have a different dye they can use - surely they've had people with these same allergies before". "it'll be ok Robin" "I'm going to send you to someone I really trust, he is a good doctor and he is an interventionalist so if something is wrong, he'll fix it while he is in there". I'm so anxious about the test I haven't really even thought about the outcome and what more the test could reveal. It could be that my stress test was a false positive. My husband had a heart cath a few years ago when his stress test was abnormal and everything was fine. It could mean a stent, angioplasty, or worse, heart surgery. I get down on myself because how can I be afraid of heart surgery. I have a sweet little 4 year old girl who endured open heart surgery all alone when she was just 2. She endures scary tests (for her) every couple of years and in reality, she may have to endure open heart surgery again when she is a teenager. When I think of these things, I get embarrased for my anxiety. I can't get rid of it but I feel worse for feeling it.

A friend of mine said this was one of her favorite sayings... "if you pray, why worry - and if you worry, why pray?" I pray, a LOT but I don't feel I know the scriptures well enough. I pray, but more so when things aren't going right. I mean, I pray when things are going right but I pray more when things aren't. My anxiety tests my faith. Anxiety is my demon. It gnaws and gnaws at me with the question.."You pray but do you BELIEVE?" Those are strong words for me.. "Do I Believe?"

Dumping is good for the Soul - Right?

Have you ever been afraid? Afraid of something you know in your mind is ridiculous? So afraid that the fear keeps you from doing what you know is the right thing to do?

Hi, my name is Robin and I'm an anxious pharmacophobic nurse.

I have a fear of taking or being given medication. What makes this so ridiculous is that I'm a nurse. Oh, I do ok with Tylenol and Motrin but that's about it. On rare occasion I can get down a dose on Nyquil but I have to be REALLY sick and it takes me about a half hour just to finally get up the nerve to swallow it.

These past few months (since Oct) I've been really sick. I've had severe cough, severe cold/allergy like symptoms and most recently Strep Throat. I had a reaction to an antibiotic back in November and an ER told me I was crazy to think that is what it was. My family doctor had me stop immediately when I told her what was going on. With the episode of strep, I knew I had to take an antibiotic so I forced it down. Don't you know, after just 3 days, I broke out in hives AND had a major panic attack to go along with it. The panic is worse than the hives and probably what I'm most afraid of. If you've never experience a panic attack before, let me just tell you how terrible they are. I wouldn't wish them on my worse enemy. At my last doctors visit, it was also determined that I have high blood pressure and my old non-friend, tachycardia, has reappeared. Now, my thoughts on this subject are that I've been to the doctor three times in the last 4 months each time being sick and expecting to have to take medications which freaks me out. Perhaps this is why my heart is cranking at 131 beats/min and my blood pressure has been high. What I can't explain is why it happens at home on occasion, at work on occasion etc. Other than some major stress at both places. My doctor wants me to take medication again for my heart rate that will hopefully also lower my blood pressure. I don't want to take it because I've taken medication like that before and it didn't work. It only made me feel worse. Last week I went for a stress test where they inject nuclear medication into your veins so they can take pictures of your heart. Let me tell you how anxiety provoking that was.!! Tomorrow I find out if I have to have further testing on my heart. I'm a freaking nervous wreck again. Please God, let my heart be ok without having to have any other tests and I promise I'll take my blood pressure medication. (as best as I can promise) Can you believe I've been bargaining with God. Do this for me and I'll do this like I'm supposed to. I know, I know... it doesn't work that way.! I am supposed to be faithful and know that He will protect me. Anxiety is a pretty strong demon though.

I'm so not growing old gracefully am I. I have a strong family history of heart disease, diabetes, high cholesterol etc and I actually think I can get away without having to take medications in my life. The kicker here is, I've really not done anything to stay as healthy as possible. It's like I just keep trying to hide that strong family history in the closet, hoping that if I don't open it, it won't jump out and grab hold of me. Well, it's seeping out from under the door and it's grabbing me by the ankles. Xanax is wonderful, most of the time, but it can only do so much. Sometimes I get the 'why me' pity party going on and then I think "why not me?" I'm not so special. I see so much stuff in the job I do. I'm amazed at the number of pills the elderly have to take. It's no wonder they feel horrible and fall frequently. Holy cow, I can't even take one pill and I have client's who are on 30 every day. (not kidding) They have to take pills to counter-act the side effects of other pills and so on.

Off to fix Maddy lunch and take a rest as Maddy likes to call it. I've got to figure out a way to get better and trust that the medications prescribed will help me to feel better and not worse. Thanks for listening. Sometimes, just being able to dump some of it out is a relief.

I found this quite humerous and uplifting! :0)

Recently, in a large city in Australia , a poster featuring a young,
thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym.

It said, "This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?"

A middle-aged woman, whose physical characteristics
did not match those of the woman on the poster,

responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.

To Whom It May Concern,

Whales are always surrounded by friends
(dolphins, sea lions, curious humans.)

They have an active sex life,
get pregnant and have adorable baby whales.

They have a wonderful time with dolphins
stuffing themselves with shrimp.

They play and swim in the seas,
seeing wonderful places like Patagonia ,
the Bering Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia .

Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs.

They are incredible creatures and virtually
have no predators other than humans.

They are loved, protected and admired by
almost everyone in the world.

Mermaids don't exist.

If they did exist,
they would be lining up outside the
offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts
due to identity crisis.

Fish or human?


They don't have a sex life
because they kill men who get close to them,
not to mention, how could they have sex?
Just look at them ... where is IT?
Therefore, they don't have kids either.


Not to mention, who wants to get close to a girl
who smells like a fish store?

The choice is perfectly clear to me:

I want to be a whale!


P.S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads
the idea that only skinny people are beautiful,
but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids,
a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver,
and a piece of chocolate with my friends.

With time, we gain weight because
we accumulate so much information
and wisdom in our heads that there is no more room
and it distributes out to the rest of our bodies.

So we aren't heavy,
we are enormously cultured,
educated and happy.

Beginning today,
when I look at my butt
in the mirror I will think,

¨Good grief look how smart I am!¨

Half the Sky NEEDS Your Vote

Are you on Facebook? Would you like to make a difference in the lives of other Chinese orphans?

Half the Sky is an organization that reaches out with practical, compassionate efforts to meet the dire needs of orphaned children in China.

Half the Sky is now listed as a top charity by Chase Bank's giving outreach organization!

However, in order for Half the Sky to receive additional funds your VOTE is urgently needed for Chase Community Giving. We have only until January 22 to vote!

The voting process is quite simple and should not take more than 5 minutes of you time. Please follow this link below and read toward the bottom of the page for instructions,

http://www.halfthesky.org/journal/



Thank you for taking the time to read this and for all votes posted. (Half the Sky is currently #24 when you start looking for their link to click.)

Please post this on your blog to get the message around the blogging community if you feel so inclined.

Christmas 2009 Recap

Merry Christmas friends and family. It has been a trying year for sure with all that the economy has brought with it but we are thankful to have each other and thankful that we've all been able to remain employed this year. Christmas day was a little rough for this old mom as I was the on call manager for our agency. Usually this would mean that I might.. MIGHT, get a phone call from the nurse on call for the day so I thought.. no biggie. Boy was I wrong. We had just started opening gifts when the first page of the day came and in and I had to leave immediately to unlock the office for a nurse who didn't have a badge or computer. Poor Maddy, she had only opened one thing before everthing came to a screeching halt. I'm so blessed to have a sweet, understanding little girl who waited for mommy to return before opening any more gifts and did so graciously. It was all downhill from there. I had so many calls in the afternoon that I ruined the corn casserole and candied yams for dinner. The calls didn't stop until 11 at night when one of the nurses called off for the weekend due to illness. GREAT! I was up and at work at 6am on saturday and ended up having to work the entire day until 6pm at night. Mind you, part of my "job perk" is that I don't work weekends or holidays... yeah, right!! Today has not been much better. I'll be so happy for 8am Monday to roll around when I can pass the pager off to someone else for at least another 10 weeks.

Here are a few photos to recap our christmas day.

Our very blessed Christmas Tree 2009


Maddy with Stitch in her new Barbie Jeep from Santa



Every girl needs an iPhone and a Bluetooth - Right?!


Sarah was able to be with us Christmas morning too :0)


Look at this sweet face ready to open more packages once Mommy returned home from work


Sarah and Beaujangles ready for presents


Biggest Loser for the Wii... No excuses now


Daddy showing off a new sweater


Grandma came to check out all the goods Santa brought


Grandpa came too and loved his new UD hat from Maddy


Maddy trying out her new jeep in the rain on Christmas day... what happened to that snow? (we are getting it all back again today, that's what)



Christian came to visit in the afternoon for dinner


Family photo 2009 - well partial family. Missing in this picture would be Marty's children and families but getting everyone together these days is difficult. So, in this picture are my children and this coming weekend we will head east to have Christmas with Marty's kids. We'll have two family photos (His and Mine)


I hope everyone had as wonderful a Christmas as our family had. Here's to an amazing 2010 too. We hope to be seeing some new baby faces this year from some very dear friends who have been waiting a very long time for their sweet children from China. God Bless!